Writer’s guide to staying warm in winter

It’s cold are you’re meant to be working and there’s no one sitting in the chair next to you guilting you into getting on with it. And the ink in your pen froze and you can’t remember what your feet look like under three pairs of socks.

Quit whining, start writing. Here’s a few ways to stay warm while you do it.

  • Use the surge protector on your laptop charger as an additional source of warmth. Particularly good for soothing chilled feet or working on niggling back pain.
  • Don’t squander that envy you feel when you see other people posting their daily word count/book deal/perfect score, bank it up and let it burn bright enough to get you sweaty in your “officewear” onesie.
  • Build yourself a blanket, cushion and woollies mountain so intricate that you couldn’t extract yourself to open the door, even if you wanted to.
  • Do all of your plotting in the shower. Not only is it the only place you’ll be warm, but you won’t even have to exercise willpower to stop yourself checking the progress of your peers on Facebook et al.
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  • Eat only comfort foods. It’s cold outside, dammit. on the other hand, you can spend a lot of time making soup. It won’t get words on the page but it will offer an alternative sense of achievement.
  • Cold weather gives procrastination in the form of team making a whole new level. Plus side, no one bats at eye when you make three cups and hour. Downside, you have to visit the freezing bathroom almost as frequently.
  • Get out of the house. Eek what little sunshine you can from the day and take your notes to a friendly café. Just don’t choose the seat by the door or you’ll waste all of your thinking time shooting evils at people who must have been born in a barn while blasts of cold wind ruffle your pages.
  • Stop saying you’ll work harder in summer, no one believes you. Least of all you.