Office survival tips for writers, dreamers and creative control freaks #4

Sometimes the office is just too good at sapping your will to live (just look at the fact last week’s list went awol), but we can’t give into the temptation to stultify our minds and solidify our souls – we must fight against boredom while we still can!

10. Swap the seats. Fight against all of your natural impulses and come in early one day and this will give you the chance for some craftiness that will have far reaching consequences. Basically, what you want to do is take all of those natty office chairs and mix them up. Put the IT department’s austere chairs with the analysts, the creative team’s yoga balls under the desks of the finance team and just make sure everything is generally as mixed up as possible.

Then you can sit and smirk as you watch people get really shirty about their chairs – it’s funny how attached people become to the things they sit in 40 hours a week – and the amount of time it will take for everyone to swap back will be a pleasant diversion for the whole office.

11. Fill in petitions. You feel bad about abandoning all those things you felt so passionate about don’t you? You hate the fact you signed away your freedom for a paycheck and a computer right? Don’t let it eat away at you every day, salve your conscience and kill some time by finding online petitions for you to support. It won’t be hard for you to fcome across plenty of worthy causes, just make sure you don’t sign any that have time stamps until your lunch break – unless you’re willing to face the potential flak.

12. Get to grips with graffiti. You don’t want to actually deface work property, well, you might WANT to, but I’d only advise that for people actively looking for their p45s, but some inoffensive graffiti can be a great way to indulge your creative streak and also spread some amusement. To avoid having to scratch your missives into paintwork or desks, Post-it notes can be your choice of weapon – just get doodling and sticking

Lynsey's p45

Let’s face it, the communal areas of the office are pretty dire – and where’s more depressing than those horrible shared bathrooms? – get your graffiti on and give people something to read as they consider succumbing to the ennui and despair that rears its head when you’re making your daily seventh cup of tea. Gently slagging is fine, don’t rip your boss if you’ve got distinctive handwriting though!

If those aren’t enough to be getting on with, maybe the back catalogue of office survival tips will help. And if none of those dispel your displeasure, then I’m sorry my favourite office monkeys – but I will accept my failures and try and do better next time.