You can’t do exercises at your desk without getting some really weird looks, so stretch your mind and test your wits with my top tips for frustrated office monkeys everywhere.
There’s a theme to this week’s office survival suggestions and that’s because hate them, tolerate them, forge friendships with them, or hate them more, your colleagues are the ones that you’ll be spending more time with than any of your loved ones for the duration of your time in the office. Learn to love them or make them your playthings, the choice is all yours.
7. Play office matchmaker. Offices are rife with potential for romance and all of the boredom-defying drama that comes with it. You may have been content to be a passive observer in the past, but when you’re in need of a way to stop your soul from withering away, what could be better than a little matchmaking? Not only will this triple if not quadruple office gossip (i.e. the only thing that makes as little office drones prick up our ears on the long arid stretch between nine and five), but it gives you plenty of time to use your creative skills. They sit on different floors? Not a problem if you make sure you put her favourite coffee mug on his desk or his scarf under her chair. Shyness is stopping them hooking up? Start sneaking gin into their drinks as Friday home time draws closer.
9. Work out anagrams of your business and colleagues. When it feels as though your brain cells have begun fighting among themselves for the smallest smidgen of stimulation, try kick starting them with a few word games (oh how I love the word games) Easiest to get started on is working out what things you can spell using the letters of your desk mates for The Man that employs you.
Cameo cinema (oh how I miss you Cameo)
A Mecca o’ mine
Say my lyne
The Piemaker (don’t miss you quite so much)
Tame her pike
Sometimes the results are better than others, especially when you don’t have to resort to ‘interesting’ spellings.
8. Become a copy cat. This is one that is only suitable for the really bored and the really quite brave. What you need to do is choose a colleague and make it your mission for the day to do everything they do – only 10 minutes later. So, for example, they go to make a cup of tea, you go to make a cup of tea. They go to the bathroom, you go to the bathroom. They make a stupid yawny noise, so do you. They do something inappropriate to another member of staff, well… only the truly dedicated will follow the mission to the bitter end. This will not leave you fulfilled or happy, but the need to constantly aware of what your chosen victim is up to will speed the hours up wonderfully.
That’s all I have time for today, there are a few interns and new starts in the office and I really need to get working on my Haikus and anagrams. The old(er) office survival tips live on, choose a course and stay strong.